White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism / Robin DiAngelo

I have struggled about whether to blog about this book or not. DiAngelo wrote this book in a manner that any criticism of what she offers in White Fragility just "proves her point." I decided to talk about it anyway because I think that it is important to talk about the hard stuff. 

This book is about race. It is specifically about white people and their relationship to racism. Yes, I am white (see my hand on the image? pretty white!) And yes, I think that racism, especially in this country, is a problem. Yes I want to be a part of the solution. Yes, I understand implicit bias (that bias for or against a group of people that is below the level of consciousness. Think about when you enter a room of strangers and have to figure out where to sit. It is implicit bias that steers to you to one or another table.) Yes, I understand systemic racism (systems and structures that disadvantage African Americans). And yes, I believe that these challenges create a world that does not provide the same advantages for everyone. And yes, I think that this all needs to change and part of that can begin with me.

Now the grumpy part. We have a lot of civil unrest in our country. I love that we are focused on that right now and I hope that our focus helps fix some of these problems. But I also hear people talk about how they are tired of being called "racists".  

Dictionary.com defines "racist" as: "a person who believes in racism, the doctrine that one's own racial group is superior or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others." 

I believe that this is the definition of "racist" that is predominately understood. As soon as that term is thrown around, I feel like walls come up and the conversation stops. While I understand that DiAngelo was reaching out to white liberals who feel that they are beyond bias and I understand why she would use this kind of language in that context. I also feel that this language has been generalized in a lot of conversations about our world specifically about the implicit bias we all have and the systemic racism in our world. I want to talk about race, but I am not sure that using DiAngelo's vocabulary and tactics are they way to do it.

This book did remind me that I am a white girl in a white world and that makes my life pretty easy. It also reminded me that I need to walk softly and be aware of my biases and the systems around me that make the world an uneven experience. Mostly it left me wanting to read more about racism and specifically the history that created our uneven experiences. 

Finally, I feel that there is so much more to the conversation than this book touches upon. I feel that we all live within some sort of culture - and those cultures should be recognized and celebrated. I feel that empathy is a trait that we need to explicitly teach. I think that stories can help us, and while we do not have the right to demand that someone shares their story with us, there are plenty of people who have shared their experiences and we can learn from those sources. So read, listen, reflect, reach out, and work to make our world a better place.